The ACTUAL moment........I mean the very millisecond that I walked into what would become my future home for the first time I knew I would marry my husband. The first thought that hit my brain was, "My red couch goes perfectly in this living room." True story. But I truly only knew I wanted to marry him when I saw this.......
For those who don't know....because I wouldn't have....this is a speaker from our "surround sound system". Also known as the ugliest mess of electronic hullabaloo known to woman. Is there ANYTHING more interior design killing than a myriad of electrical cords?! And I'm a freaking gamer, man. But you know what? My gaming systems and games are neatly and beautifully displayed around my television, with all cords tied and hidden. So when I ever saw that this man.....this BEAUTIFUL MAN took the time to run the wires through wire covers that were actually painted the same color as the room to hide them........well I almost proposed right there. But I didn't........because that's how you earn the title "Stage 5 Clinger" and a one way trip back to single's night.
Lucky for me I kept it together for a few months before I started rearranging his things.....and that was only because his soap and other cleaning poisons were being kept above the sink. I mean, they were at eye level, guys. He's going to read this and be all...."They were there when I moved in!" but don't buy it. Dude was here for YEARS with the cabinets like that. He didn't care. Why would he? But once I fixed his kitchen and he saw the benefits of having silverware accessibility vs. having a candle drawer by the stove he knew I was a keeper. Wait until he sees what I've been up to, now. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
UGLY FURNITURE FIX #1
BRING AN UMBRELLA WITH YOU BECAUSE THE CRAFT STORE WENT WITH A FLAT ROOF DESPITE BEING IN NEW ENGLAND SAVING THEM......A BUNDLE:
- a hideously ugly piece of furniture purchased before you became the furniture decision maker- Preferably made of pressboard wood!
- a stack of cool magazines- I went with Rolling Stone but if you want to get crazy with Popular Mechanic or The Economist feel free.
- ModPodge- (trumpet fanfare) Is there anything more wonderful than "The Podge"? We love this stuff. It's actually pretty pricey these days. I had to go grab a new bottle and I was all....$8?!!! For The Podge?! Lucky for me that holy hobby store has online coupons......which was kind of mind blowing, actually. So I cued up the coupon and saved 40%. BOOM....like the mogul I am.
- a sponge brush- A Modpodge must!
- Good ol' glue- I've decided that even though you can technically use The Podge to adhere things, good ol' glue just works better holding down corners. There!!! I've said it. I feel better now.
- metallic black paint- OF LIES. This paint was about as metallic as a black hole. It looks fine but if you call something metallic I should feel like it is possible that Liberace has once owned it....or at least look that way.
- dexterity- I once knew this girl in art school who could paint for hours and never get a speck on her. She'd wear a beautiful outfit everyday and just paint flawlessly and cleanly. Her paintings were amazing and her hands and face were so clean. I am not that girl.
- Place your ugly piece of furniture on a clean surface you can ruin. Garbage bags, tarps, or even that shirt of his that he refuses to admit has morphed into a half shirt can all be used to protect an indoor surface. I've never had to resort to such diabolical methods. I do the laundry, dude. Accidents happen........
- After you've decided which magazine covers you will forever immortalize upon your furniture, carefully remove them from the rest of the pages. At this point I'll suggest that you could totally lay out and plan where you wanted each cover to be. You could make sure everything fits perfectly and that you are not scrambling too find more materials for all the blank spots you have left. But then my friend, you could not call yourself an artist. I say let it fly! You'll figure it out! You always do!
- Using your sponge brush, evenly spread some glue onto the back of a cover and slap it on that ugly thing. Looks better already! Glue all of the covers onto the exterior of the shelves, taking care to match the page lines to the edges. We don't want to have to trim this. That's a whole extra step I have to write about.
- When adding your pages get creative! Maybe flip some covers one way, and others upside down. You could cut them into pieces.....just do the logos....the world is your oyster, Boo Bear! I also noticed that it looked much neater if I took the time to bend and extend pages around edges and corners. A bit of extra work but since we are not doing the bottom at all so it shouldn't be too bad. And if it is, then just stop, you big baby! Who the heck is holding a sponge brush to your head, anyway?!
- Once you're glued down, stand your piece up so it faces you. Use your black paint just on the edges of the shelf that face out. I see no point in painting the interior shelves and quite honestly the furniture is too cheap to get back together if I pull it apart. I suppose if you used spray paint before this entire project it would be best, but there's about 56" of snow outside and one simply does not shovel to spray paint.
- Ain't no party like a ModPodge Party, cuz a ModPodge Party don't stop! It's time to shellac your shenanigans. So you know. Spread a nice even layer of ModPodge over all of the covers. Be careful when dragging the brush over everything to not peel back covers that intersect. It will be milky white until completely dry. then it should be nice and shiny.....but in no way metallic. Not even a sparkle, man.
Alright!!! This baby is headed back into the music room. That's right.....my handsome, physics teacher husband who can build anything also plays several instruments and writes music. Yeah....I'm no dummy. I put a ring on that real quick. Now we have a place for all of our CD's that.....now that we have computer files for music and such......will never, ever, EVER, listen to again. I can't blame him. Those babies were like $15.99 each.