I used to go to a bar that had a sign of an animated Jell-O shot waving and smiling. When the waiter asked us if we'd like one I replied....."Only if he comes out like that and screams when I eat him." And that my dear friends....is how you get cut off, before you even start drinking.
Truth be told I've always had an affinity for treats brought to life. I mean, was there anything better than getting that little happy man sundae from Friendly's? No. There wasn't. Sorry bro. That was my all time favorite ice cream treat growing up. They'd bring over that shiny silver ice cream goblet filled with ice cream and that little ice cream man would stare back at me with his Reese Pieces eyes and cone hat as if to say........"Please NO!!!!!!!!" But his imaginary screams fell on deaf ears as I carefully devoured him, making sure to save the tip of that little Cone Gnome's hat for last.
So this week we are making the edible utensil of the ice cream world.....sugar spoons!!! Just kidding. We're making cones, you nut. What the hell is a sugar spoon?
PUT SMALL WEIRD THINGS IN PEOPLE'S CARTS WHEN THEY ARE NOT LOOKING AS YOU GRAB:
- 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract- Because vanilla bean speckled cones might look like they took a roll on the floor at the Kwik-E-Mart
- 1/8 of a teaspoon of salt- In the recipe, and over the shoulder. It's the LAW.
- a cone shaper- WHA???? I know. I bought one at a kitchen store. It kind of looks like someone made a shiv out of a tiny rolling pin.....Or is it a shank? I can never remember if you "shiv with a shank" or "shank with a shiv". Prison etiquette eludes me. Also makes a fantastic vampiric staking utensil. Buffy should have been so lucky.
- 2 eggs- That's it. Plenty left to make ice cream, too!
- 1/2 cup of sugar- It is a sugar cone.
- 1/4 cup of butter- Melted and cooled. Which is EXACTLY how I felt after my morning work out......and sweaty. But you do not want sweaty butter. That's a refrigeration problem.
- 1/3 cup of flour
- 3 tablespoons of milk- Any kind will do. It's 3 tablespoons. I bet water would work in a pinch.
- 3 tablespoons of vegetable oil- I'm going to use canola. Canola's a vegetable, right?
- You're travelling through another dimension, a dimension not only of yum and crunch but of taste; a journey into a frozen land whose boundaries are that of a crispy tapered cylinder. That's the Tipsy Truck up ahead - and your next stop, the Cone Zone!
So we better get all of our ingredients whisked together. All the wet first, then the dry.
- Easy like a Sunday morning, right? Because Sunday mornings are when you make stacks of pancakes and this is pretty much flat pancake batter. We could even make healthy buckwheat cones if we wanted to waste our time and throw out food! But let's save the healthy for meals, not desserts. Now get your griddle medium hot. DO IT!
- Ladle out batter into a thin circle. Did you ever see anyone make crepes? No? You need more Cooking Channel in your life. Ok look......it's like.......ladle batter out....smear a swirly batter circle....wait........flip. How long before you flip? Do like 6 different versions of Shatner saying...."There's something on the wing! There's some.....THING......ON THE WING!" and you should be good. It should be brown and crisp before you take it off. Like that whole plane would have been if Will hadn't distracted that gremlin from ripping apart the engine.
- As you remove each one from the heat, wrap the pancake around the cone shaper. If you weren't able to find one you could use a garden gnome's hat, or long tapered bottle, or probably just make one out of a sturdy cardboard. Your neighbors might get ticked if you borrow their gnome. Once the cone is shaped....like a cone.......lay it on a wire rack to dry and cool.
- Fill with Tipsy Cones ice cream. It's the LAW. ;)
These are actually super easy and kind of really fun to make. C'mon!!! Get crazy with CONES! Make ice cream taco cones or cone bowls, fill your cones with cake, or you can omit all of the sugar and vanilla and make savory cones that you fill with tuna tartar. (I saw that on the Cooking Channel once.) Then promptly invite me over because I love me some raw tuna. I'll bring the dessert.
Final comment: you take this with a grain of salt or a shovelful of Mississippi Mudslide, as pancakes or ice cream receptacles, I leave it up to you. And for any further research check under 'C' for Cones in the......Cone Zone. (do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do)