Do you think my shrink reads my blog or is that not included in the copay? Because I feel like that man could probably gain a WORLD of insight by reading this baby. Or am I not supposed to talk about that? I don't see why. I work out and eat well for my body, try to meditate and play games for my mind, why wouldn't I work on the ol' psyche while I'm at it? Pobody's nerfect.
Admittedly.....I've had some nutty ideas. Believe it or not, Tipsy Cones was NOT my first stroke of genius. OH NO. Let's see......there was "Sandwich Flavored Bread". That was for people too poor for lunchmeat. Unfortunately turns out most people are pretty turned off by the idea of a slice of toasted buttered pimento loaf bread. That one never got passed research and development. There was also "Bissell Shoes". These were carpet sweeps built directly into the souls of the shoes of waitstaff. That way the floor would get cleaned by the staff walking around all night. Laziness is the mother of invention. There's a couple more that are not really blog appropriate but when I come out with a book someday I promise to give you the full on gory details. Until then let your creepy little imagination run free!
So today we are going to get so weird. The good news is hard work need not apply to this recipe. Neither should nutritional content. Today friends.....we attempt:
INSANE-O YOO-HOO "GELATO"....I THINK-O
GO TO THE EVIL SODA AISLE.......OR DID YOU THINK YOOHOO WAS A JUICE?
- 6'er of YooHoo- We're only using 3 but they don't come like that so either drink the other 3 or maybe just think of all your fallen homies as you empty them onto the ground. I highly recommend this be an outdoor activity but you are the keeper of your own destiny........and the mops.
- the taste buds of a 6 year old- That is when I first fell in love with that yellow label. It probably helped that my Grandmother's next-door neighbor worked for YooHoo and constantly gave her t-shirts in addition to the chocolate drink stockpile for us. Love me some free beverage swag. As a former bartender I have an extensive collection of liquor themed attire........"Brooke!", they all scream, "Who are you wearing!?"............and I look over my shoulder and cooly whisper......."Finlandiaaaaaaa."
- popsicle form tray- I don't have one. Or an ice cube try. So my photos will not reflect that this was used. But after scooping this shenanigans I realized that popsicle would have been an excellent way to go on this. It could have been real cute instead of looking like when they used to use that nice safe brown sand instead of "Liquid Car and Pavement Destroyer" on the roads. Now I'm supposed to wash my car after every storm. Seems legit.
- So let's have a real discussion here......kind of. A quick look at the ingredients label on this tells me that I may be better off eating a plate of PlayDoh than drinking this. However, every once in a while you have to go back and taste something for nostalgia. Some companies have dramatically altered their recipes SO much that sometimes it ruins that. THIS is NOT one of this times. YooHoo seems to have stayed troo-hoo to it's roots. You hear that AppleJacks? Because you can't just go changing someone's childhood all whilly-nilly you heartless monsters...........green apple jacks......freaking ridiculous.
- Chill your cans! Cool your jets! Slow your roll! Row your boat?.......That was literally just straight up stream of conscious writing right there. So if my shrink IS reading this maybe put that in my file. But the point here is make sure your "chocolate drink".......that phrasing on the can is mildly disconcerting.......is nice and COLD.
- Crack those cans and poor them directly into the ice cream machine. So ok. This is less of a recipe and more of a dare. I'm starting to feel like this is bachelor pad ice cream. Or unattended 11 year old's making ice cream. Oh well. Either way this stuff sets up pretty dang quick. So watch it and before it's too solid turn off the machine and lightly spoon the goop into your popsicle forms. Make sure to occasionally tap the form on the counter to help get it to fill up evenly.
- "But why do we have to put it in the machine if we are just going to have to put it in popsicle forms?" Man.........you are whiny. Skipping the "Because-I-Said-So" Law of blog-torials I'll offer this.......You don't have to. I'm just telling you how I would, If I was going to. Wanna know why? Air. It's going to be all nice and fluffy and aerated like a real frozen treat, Buddy. Excuse me for trying to wrinkle your brain. Now quit your complaining and put the popsicle tops onto the form and put them in the freezer. Otherwise pop on a lid to your freezer safe container and let chill.
This will actually be done really quickly. Why I bet in a few short hours you'll be enjoying the sweet taste of childhood. These are best served after a sumptuous meal of Beefaroni and/or frozen bean burritos. I personally like mine while sitting on a cement stoop in the sunshine......until I inevitably get dive bombed by a bee and start running around in a circle until either it leaves or I can get inside without it following me. See? Some things never change.