I know. I'm a day late. At least I'm not a buck short. It's not really my fault. I was so busy enjoying nature. I was telling each snowflake how beautiful it was and how much I loved it. Snow communicating is very time consuming. You wouldn't believe how many different dialects there are. That's why I'm up nice and early, getting things done......because I procrastinated.....I GUESS........if you call beating another 4 levels of Lego Batman procrastination.
In this house we call that "Monday".
But taking these breaks are necessary. It's how you exercise your brain. And a healthy brain is a thinky brain. Feel free to quote me on that. I'm very quotable. In high school I signed several yearbooks....."If life hands you lemons, ask yourself........Why am I being handed produce?!" Oh yeah.......a lifetime of wit and wisdom by the tender age of 16.
SPEAKING of produce.........oh those literary transitions of mine.........we're going to put some in our ice cream! OH BOY!!!
GO TO THE SNOWY FARMER'S MARKET AND REMIND YOURSELF THAT FRESH FRUIT WILL COME BACK.....SOMEDAY.......NOW GO TO THE STORE FOR:
- canned pie filling- You'll find this in the baking aisle. I'm going to let you choose your flavors. I chose strawberry, cherry, and blueberry. I figured they would maintain their delicious flavors and not really have to compete with each other. But if you want to try pumpkin/apple/mincemeat........by all means, go nuts! Just don't invite me over. What's for dinner? Clamloaf?
- custard mix- This is the lazy part where I make you click this sentence to find the recipe for custard. Don't forget to grab the 4 eggs, 2 1/2 cups of heavy cream, 1/2 cup of milk, 1/2 cup of sugar, and vanilla.....be it bean or drops for said custard. Or else.
- lemoncello- This lemon flavored gasoline is a favorite dessert liquor of my Italian people. If your eyebrows don't fall off when you drink it, it's made well. We are going to reduce a cup's worth to 2/3 of a cup. Bring it to a boil, take it off the heat and after it cools, chill it while you chill your custard.
- blueberry schnapps or wine- Some for you........some for the recipe. I won't judge. Never do.
- patchouli- Purchase and promptly throw directly into the nearest garbage can. Now there's one less bottle in the world. But don't go by opinion. Whenever Player 2 uses his aftershave I want throw up when I kiss him. It's really nothing that bad I guess.....I just hate ANY fragrance. Especially at 5AM. My schnozol is quite sensitive in my old age.
- a lemon- Not necessary but major bonus points if you zest a whole one and toss it in the custard mix. If you were gaming that's be considered a "side mission". It's okay. We'll learn you a little at a time.
- Do your prep work. It's half the battle of this recipe and in life. Get your custard made, reduce your limoncello. Let them chill together. It's cool......I heard they go way back. All the way back......like car seats.
- MORE prep! Okay.......Science always try to mess with creative new ice cream ideas. But we're stronger than Science. We're Art!! We've got the power of booze. So because we are using pie filling, we need to kind of "cure" it so it won't become a fillingsicle in the middle of our creamy ice cream. Because if you forgot....water freezes....look OUTSIDE.
Enter the blueberry schnapps/wine! Separate all your fillings in different bowls and splash some of your fruity booze into each one. NOT TOO MUCH. Like a 1-2-3......STOP! That's called a "3 Count Pour" in the bar world. I used to start at the glass and then raise my arm way high and then bring it back down all while pouring. It looked cool, customers thought they got a ton of booze, and it used to drive another bartender I worked with freaking crazy. Win-Win-Win! Stir the liquor into the filling thoroughly and introduce it to the chill party you've got going on in the fridge. Now that it's a little looser from the alcohol, it should have no problem socializing with the other ingredients. Usually works for me.
- Make the ice cream like normal.....well....like OUR normal. Add the limoncello reduction to the custard and get that mixture spinning in our little dairy disco. Now limoncello does not like when a party ends. So it's going to resist freezing in that machine for at LEAST 10 minutes.....probably more. I'm personally not that comfortable pushing my home machine past that. So when I detected the faint whiff of hot motor at like 12 minutes, I just poured it into a freezer safe container and put it in the freezer. We have to get a bit tricksy with this one.
- After completing 4 levels of Lego Batman your ice cream should be "a bit more frozen than soft serve like". Take it out of the freezer and gently stir in each pie filling. Drop a big blob and give it a little swish. Don't sit there and stir it up until it's all mixed. We are going for "tie dye"....not "kinda brown but not chocolate".
- Put this high maintenance confection BACK in the freezer after you cover the surface with plastic wrap and pop the lid back on. In a few hours you'll be scooping twirly whirly rainbows and seeing all the colors, man.
Well, well, well.......Looks like this here is another case of randomly delicious. It's light and fruity, tastes like freaking pie a la` mode EXTREME, and could honestly benefit with a sprinkle of gram cracker........so maybe grab a box.....or a crust. This ice cream is so light and tasty it will remind you of spring breezes, warm sunshine, and the time of year when you can hug a tree, and not get frozen to it. Until then......