I'm definitely turning into Dr. Seuss' drunken sister, but when you have a penchant for rhyming and booze based business......what's a girl supposed to do?! You're lucky you're not Player 2. He's stuck in the truck all day with me saying things like....."Walk yourself right over here! I made ice cream out of beer!" In my defense he will randomly attempt to teach me Physics.....equations and all.....while I'm cooking dinner. Oh yeah. Smarty pants teaches physics, builds ice cream trucks, and is the second best gamer in this house. True story.
So this week we are going to tackle 2 crafty gifts! What?!!! I know. You are thinking...."Brooke! It can't be done....especially by you..." (Well you're only half right, Cat.) I'm batting 1 for 2 on today's crafty blog......and failing the second one....justifies the cocktail I'm about to have. So I'm going to say that actually makes it a win. Welcome to Brooketopia.
This first craft is great, quick and anyone can do it. I'm LIVING PROOF. Player 2 walked into the living room and exclaimed....."THOSE LOOK GREAT!" I obviously looked at him like he was insane but when all was said and done he was right. Look out, Baby! I am THE world's most amazing button ornament crafter. Except for the reindeer, which he informed me, needed a diet. I however, told my reindeer that as long as he was healthy and felt good he shouldn't let that bother him. Who knew Player 2 was like all of the other reindeer?
FILL UP THE SLEIGH AND HEAD TO YOUR LOCAL PIPE CLEANER AND BUTTON EMPORIUM FOR:
- pipe cleaners- I only had black and orange (Go GAELS!) but red, green, and white would have been pretty sweet to have. Really if there is like a rainbow pack I say just go for it! Live dangerously! Buy ALL the pipe cleaner.
- buttons- Well I obviously wouldn't have sent you to the Pipe Cleaner and Button Emporium if you didn't need buttons too. When choosing your buttons, choose a box with varied sizes. It will help add some dimension to the ornament. Otherwise everything is going to look like snakes. There is no such thing as Christmas snakes.
- glue- A dab'll do ya.
- the ability to think outside the box- Did you make a little Santa? Add a piece of a cotton ball for the beard! A reindeer? Add some pipe cleaner antlers! A snow man? Knit him a tiny scarf! What?! Martha would.
- Take your pipe cleaner, fold it in half and give the bent end a twist. This will ultimately be the top of the ornament. When you are done you can put a Christmas hook or ribbon through it to hang on a tree or present. Try to coordinate the color with what you are making. MY Santa would look way better if I had used red, but I'll just tell people he got dirty in the chimney. They'll think I'm insane....slowly back away...and BOOM....zero questions about why I made them a craft instead of buying them a gift card.
- Slide your buttons down the two pipe cleaner legs and build your ornament from the top down. If the button has four holes string it on a diagonal. The buttons you have kind of dictate how many to stack. I had thin buttons so I needed more than I thought but really this is just a game of trial and error. My first snowman's hat definitely had more of a Lincoln vibe, than a Frosty one. I fixed it but leave it if you want. Since Christmas now starts in October.....President's Day can get pushed up too.
- Here's your chance to get weird and add tiny accessories to your new button friends. Oh...are they not your friends? Well I don't recommend making little button enemies. Rumor has it they work for the Elf on the Shelf....and we know that THAT soul-less ghoul is just waiting for us to slip up. But I digress........Be it a beard for Santa, carrot nose for Frosty, or a sweet 10 point rack for Rudolph......these little details say........"I'm not garbage. I'm THOUGHTFUL garbage."
- Pop in your hook or ribbon and there you have it! A craft that didn't make us cry once. Hold onto this feeling for the next one....ok?
A NECKLACE.....OF SORTS
I saw a picture. I thought......easy. And it was. EASY and UGLY. That's a 2-FOR if I ever heard of one. This necklace is great for your most polite clown friend, the farsighted, or people who don't mind throwing things away for you. Put it in a nice box and smile big. Most people are far too nice to tell you it's crap.
YOU WILL NEED:
- colored beads- With holes running through them. Or ones without and a tiny drill. You could have borrowed one from your button friend if you had bothered to make one.
- thin jewelry wire- to run through the beads and BONUS.....scratch the neck of the recipient of this fabulous piece.
- a ribbon- Why spring for a clasp we won't be able to attach anyway?! Plus ribbon gives us another smooth texture to help contrast the pokey/stabby texture of the wire. It's all about balance after all.
- Start off by making 2 beaded circles. Using the wire, string the beads in any color arrangement you desire. The brighter the better! Maybe if we blow out the person's retinas before they get a good look at this we have a chance of them digging this.
- Make one beaded teardrop. Ahhh....we know those well here at Crafty Hour, don't we? Don't close the drop until you string your two beaded circles onto it. Take care to trim any extra bits of wire. This will apparently help sharpen them AND make them inaccessible to bend away from your neck. If it's one thing an ugly necklace needs it's to also be uncomfortable when you wear it.
- Twist, mash, manipulate, threaten, cajole and stretch the necklace until it is in the "desired" shape. Who are we kidding? The only people desiring this thing are the American Tetanus Shot Manufacturers Union........Merry Christmas, ATSMU!
- Tie two pieces of ribbon to either side of the beads and now your statement necklace is totally ready to invoke someone's patience and grace. If they wince when they put it on......which you really should insist on.......you have executed this craft perfectly! Well done.
There you have it. One successful craft gift and one successful implement of torture. And while the costume jewelry industry breathes a collective sigh of relief, the button ornament world knows I'm coming for it with a vengeance! With a week left before the big day these crafts should help remind you that it is far better to give than to receive. Especially if it's a clown necklace.
Ummm....YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.....really.......thanks........so much.....