I'm a notorious story repeater, so stop me if you've heard this before......just kidding. You have to sit here and read it anyway. Just like poor Player 2 has to hear me EVERY damn day of his life. Poor kid. But he knew what this was. It's not my fault really. I just like talking. I grew up in an Italian household.......as the quiet one. Do you know what kind of explosion can come from bottling up the very nature of the Italian conversation? Why the freak do you think we talk with our hands?! Literally as I type this with my right hand, I gesture with my left. Madonna mia, eh?!
So the story......Picture it. It's 1993. Flannel shirts and Converse sneakers with the word "NIRVANA" artfully written across the sides and souls are all the rage. Yours truly? I'm rocking high-water jeans and a floral silk vest.....add curly bangs and I think we all know who was at the top of that social scene. Not me. I was so far down I can't even remember who actually was. But now I'm "funny" so cheers to the awkward years, right? So it's 8th grade and my History teacher had assigned a report on inventions. Shockingly I chose the television. (The affinity I have for TV could literally be a book. If I'm in the house, it is on. Ghosts don't come when the TV is on. Everybody knows that.)
In my entire scholastic career I never ONCE did an assignment early. I couldn't. The idea seemed ridiculous. Still does. Player 2 is a teacher, so he comes home ticked at the kids, and I always take their side. Get this.....he thinks you should "remember" all the stuff you learned and not just cram the night before and spit it all back out the next day, allowing you to forget it the next day. See? Makes no sense. So back then when I was 13, there was NO WAY this was being done for Monday one nanosecond before 7pm on Sunday night. Duh. Plus our house had 2 sets of encyclopedias left behind by the people who sold it to us so the library was no es necessito. I settle into my room with both the red and the blue volumes of "T,U" and "R,S,T". Got a glass of iced tea. Got the TV on. (Inspiration) Got my sweet TYPEWRITER WITH CORRECTION TAPE. The pinnacle of home paper writing.
I really need that to be emphasized. That's my generations lot in life. We witnessed the birth of disposable technology. Kids don't know a CD let alone the Walk-Man you used to play tapes on while rollerskating to Tiffany. Answering machines and pay phones might as well be freaking dinosaurs to these kids! I was alive for planet Pluto. I knew what a brontosaurus was. And MUSIC? Don't get me started.....
Back to '93. Okay......"Snap's" song "Rhythm Is A Dancer" is still holding strong at #25 on the Billboard charts......as Whitney positively dominates with "I Will Always Love You" and I have a report due so I crack the books and.........can't find the word "television".........ANYWHERE. I start freaking out. I know the alphabet. Wait a minute. Let me look again. But it's NOT there and my heart starts POUNDING. I flip open the cover to check the copyright and HOLY Sugar Honey Iced Tea...(I'm 13, I can't swear yet.).....it says .....
CUE PANIC ATTACK. Okay....Okay.....You know what? It's okay. It's cool. We still have "RST" from the blue ones. So we'll just have one source. We got this. Check the date and.........1952. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. I flip frantically towards "Tel-" and THANK THE LORD it's there. Except....it ends like this : "Some day the television will come in color!" .......
I. Am. Screwed.
So what do I do? Well I pull myself up by the boot straps and stretch the three paragraph's of antiquated knowledge on the origin of the cathode tube.....the thing that creates the picture on the screen....... into a 2 page paper which I read in front of the class.....complete with poster. Slight panic consumed me when the teacher questioned the date but I just looked him dead in the eye and said...."Actually the cathode tube was invented in 1952." He seemed pleased with that answer. The poster got an A+. I got a B overall. Never underestimate the power of B.S. Coincidentally.....my initials.
Well by now you've figured out that there's no actual craft in this week's "Crafty Hour". Aren't you perceptive? It seems that old procrastination habit got the best of me today. Except when you're an adult you do all the other stuff you put off. At least I do. I worked out. Did the dishwasher. My laundry is done. My meals are prepared. The house is SUPER clean. I took photos for a future craft, and I talked to my best friend for an hour. Hey wait!!! Procrastination? That's a craft in itself. It's true! I don't know an artist who isn't a master. At least that's the BS I'm selling today.