Happy National Eat Your FACE Off Day!!!! Man......The Superbowl. Whoever thought of turning this event into a day dedicated to food and advertising was a dang genius. Plus it gives me four hours to get really important things done......from my couch. My virtual farm on Hay Day has really been suffering the past few weeks and my Sims' town just got a new mall that needs some upgrading. I figure that's at least two hours of time passed. And let's get real here........the chances of me making it all the way to the end of this game without falling asleep have about the same odds as the Dolphins ever playing it during my lifetime. Sorry Player 2.
Now this year, we are going to have a cozy little Superbowl for four. Don't get too jealous. I intend on only making healthy snack food and low calorie beverages. Plus two of the four guests are dogs......But I REMEMBER what it's like to host that party. In a word.........."a freaking mess".......and yes, that is one word in Italian. My pet peeve? Besides Mose not coming in when I call her.......(Get it? Literal pet peeve.).......was always those drink rings that get left behind. I have some super swanky Ikea furniture. That $7.99 LACK side table isn't going to protect itself. That's my job. I'm its adopted mother now. Guys.....I know.....but I'm a Pisces. Nurture 'til it hurts.
So what can we do???? CRAFTING TO THE RESCUE!!!!! That's right. To. The. Rescue. Like MacGyver, baby. That man was the original "life saving crafter". I once saw an episode where that dude blew his way out of a room using someone's heart medicine. That's the kind of ingenuity that keeps someone alive during the Zomb-pocalypse and that's the kind of gumption that earns you a spot in our group. Welcome to Brooke-topia. Be nice or sleep outside the prison fence. But I digress......let's make PRETTY COASTERS!
HELP A FRIEND MOVE OUT OF STATE. THE HOARDING OPPORTUNITIES ARE ENDLESS:
- 4 cermaic tiles- Thanks Ellie! I scored the whole extra box from her kitchen renovation. What will I do with them all? I just used 4, dude. What's your problem?
- Mod Podge- The botox of the craft world.
- a sponge brush- Let's hope you washed the last one. Otherwise you're about to be out of another 49 cents.
- pretty pictures you'd like to permanently adhere to decorate your coasters- As we learned the last time that we "podged" make sure that they are either photographs or magazines. Just anything heavier than printer paper. Normal paper seems to be a bit too thin to take this type of slathering. Plus the colors run all over unless you do it with a level of OCD I'm just not capable of.
- self-adhesive felt pads- The kind that go under furniture. We are using a real tile. If we don't give these coasters fuzzy "feet" the LACK table doesn't stand a chance. The good news is we can always just fix any scratches with a black Sharpie.
- Measuring Schmeasuring..........That's what I always say. By now you know that measuring is stupid. At least it is when it's totes unnecessary. So just slap a ceramic tile onto your chosen pretty picture and trace around it with a pencil. Then cut it out. Blamm-O! Easy peasy......lemon squeezy.
WOW. This whole first step was an absolute brilliantly executed exercise in writing gibberish. I think I'm over energized from my work outs.
- Use your "mod" to adhere your pretty picture to the ceramic tile. You're going to want to put it pretty side facing out. Because........duh. Also when gluing......make sure it's evenly spread out. Use your sponge brush to spread it evenly before you place the picture down and then wash your hands......you savage.
- Let it dry for 20 minutes. Or blow dry it. But this is valuable found time and you need to check that farm. The dairy's not going to fill itself. And you have orders to fill!!! ORDERS TO FILL.
- Now we are good to podge! A nice even layer over the top should both secure and protect the coaster making it totally waterproof. As it dries it will go from white goop to clear shellac. Throw on a second coat for giggles and let that dry at least 24 hours before you want to use your new sweet table savers. Or don't and when they bond you have a new convenient glass-coaster combo.
- Put your felt pads underneath in each corner of your schnazzy new coasters. Throw them out on game day and relax as the condensation from your guest's drinks stays off your classy pressboard table......and just sits in a pile on top of their coaster.......for at least two drinks worth.....before you have to put a paper towel under it.....because it's just dripping off.
You know.....absorbent coasters would've made way more sense here.
Ok. So maybe these are better for decoration. Who knew? And I definitely just Googled "absorbent coasters". They do exist. Too bad, I thought I was about to start another business. Good thing I still have "vacuum shoes" on the back burner though. They clean the floor while you walk! I know, right?!
Don't get any ideas. Patent pending.