I think we all know that I have a problem. If you have a cute pet, I probably love it. No. I probably LOVE it.......and show every picture you post of it to poor Player 2.....a man who has to remind me on a daily basis that 2 dogs are enough. I follow people's pets on Instagram. I'll kiss your dog. My name is Brooke and I have a problem.
Imagine my surprise.......nay........my elation when I saw that a couple of friends have recently adopted a new pooch, in my favorite breed. A Mose!!! Mose is the name of our first dog but I feel she defines an entire genre. This rare breed is a beautiful blend of schnauzer, border terrier, and "who knows what else?". My Mose is also part gremlin.....but more like the ones that were fed after midnight. Her underbite says..."I'm going to need braces" but her tail wags say...."Never mind! I'm a dog!"
We named her after one of our favorite characters on The Office. Our other dog is named Beasley Halpert to further prove our Office allegiance/obsession. And if Player 2 would just let me adopt like 15 more, I would have the entire cast. But until then I'll just have to settle for living vicariously through my friends and loving everyone's buddy, like they are mine too. And since these friends of mine have named their dog "Pepper Mint" how could I resist naming this week's flavor after her? So this is the way I say super congrats on the new dog, guys!!
PEPPER MINT KISS
STOP AND FILL UP THE SLEIGH BECAUSE YOU KNOW THESE PRICES AREN'T GOING TO LAST MUCH LONGER ON YOUR WAY TO GET:
- 1 cup of peppermint schnapps- I went with Dr. McGillicuddy's. There were lots of choices but this guy is a DOCTOR. I mean, why argue with science?
- 1/2 cup of crushed candy canes- Nothing against the dollar store but that's where mine came from and I'll be honest with you. I'm concerned. I bought balloons from the same store and when I blew them up my lips tasted terrible for like 20 minutes after. I couldn't figure out exactly what the flavor was but my brain kept saying........POISON. Some of the balloons were oddly shaped and all of the blue ones deflated in under and hour. Maybe I got the Chernobyl pack. So the life lesson here is pay an extra dollar and don't die.
- custard mix- If you click anywhere on this sentence you'll learn how to make it.
- A Hersey's kiss- Totally optional. Some people don't like chocolate. Some people don't kiss their dogs on the little wet noses. Some people are monsters.
- a dog or three- Staring you right in the face. Waiting. Hoping. Looming. Under foot constantly....you know what......2 is fine.
- Open up the bottle of Dr. McGillicuddy's Peppermint schnapps whilst proclaiming in your very best Pepperidge Farm old man voice........"DR. MCGILLICUDDY'S PEPPERMINT SCHNAPPS! GOOD FER WAT AILS YE'!" Wait.......is that old man or pirate?! Either way we are probably squinting with one eye while we are heating it up. Reducing this is like experiencing mustard gas first hand. Seriously......STAND BACK. The last time I reduced a giant batch of this I locked Player 2 in the ice cream shop while it cooled screaming...."You need to experience this, too!" Sometimes marriage is like hazing.
- Jeez, did we get anything done besides asphyxiating Jon in the last step?.....Nope...Just opening the bottle. Wow....it looks like such a big step though! Oh well. Here's where I will tell you to reduce a cup's worth to about 2/3 of a cup and chill it in the fridge for a few hours.
- Add the Dr's "medicine" to your custard mix and stir until thoroughly incorporated. Add the entire mixture into your ice cream machine and flip that switch to "boogie". Your machine might just say "on". You can use this time to meditate on life, plan your day, or to drag your dog around by the face with her toy as she's riding her own dog bed like a little car. Don't forget the revving and beeping noises. She loves those. When you are woefully out of breath after 2 minutes you are done. By the time you catch your breath it's probably time to check the ice cream.
- Just as the ice cream starts pulling away from the machine add in your "purchased from a regular store" crushed candy canes. Less poison that way. Put your ice cream in a freezer safe container, cover its surface with plastic wrap, pop on your lid, and toss in the freezer. Look that was like 47 steps in one. That totally makes up for #1.
- Once the ice cream is scooped, smoosh a little Heresey kiss in the top, but pointing towards you like a piece of pie or like a dog's cute a wet little nose.
As for your dogs? Well they are going to have to get there own treat. Maybe you can throw them a little cookie or two before you sit down with a bowl after dinner. It's the least you can do for that seat stealing, barking, jumping, digging, non-listening, ball of fur that is the happiest simply because you walked in the room..................with food.
Seriously though......Adopt a dog. They know what you did for them and they always remember it. It's actually kind of creepy how much they know. But you can handle it. You've got a big heart, Buddy.
Makes enough for 3-4 people, technically.
Makes enough for 2 people, realistically.
Makes enough for me, more than likely.