I'm done. I shop mostly online so I've been done. And I had to wrap them for the last Crafty Hour photo shoot so I'm REALLY done. First year ever. But my friend Sara. She's not. She texted me the other day that she needs some Crafty Hour inspiration to finish up her gift list. So in the name of CHRISTMAS SPIRIT, I shall attempt the UNTHINKABLE. 12 crafts in a week. That's right. Some people bungee jump, others leap from planes, I however........craft. And if you don't think that's impressive or dangerous, you've obviously never opened a bag of feathers by ripping it.
So patience would have been a good thing to bring to the table yesterday during the first 5 crafts. Something better......would have been friends. Which is exactly why Sara and Christina will be coming over Sunday! I have 7 crafts to go and a hankering for Bloody Marys. Plus with their supervision I can assure you that those 7 crafts will actually be gift-able to people you like. The ones we learn today are best for jokes, people you never intend on seeing EVER again, or for sending nonverbal passive aggressive messages during the holidays. It all started out so well intentioned.
CRAFT GIFT IDEAS #'S 1-3
FOODSTUFFS
Okay. So admittedly that looks like cheating. I mean, whacking out 1-3 of the crafts in the first section seems like I'm slacking but they kind of go together. I'm only slacking on the writing part. I did actually DO them. Plus how many versions of this do you want to read:
- Find pretty container.
- Put food stuffs in it.
- Decorate it with pretty ribbon.
I'm always drawn to those beautiful jars filled with colorful herbs and oils. Or those sets of hot cocoa and sugars.......But I always see them at Home Goods or Pier One. Then I sit there and try to figure out how long they've been there.....ultimately just deciding that I can just do it myself. So I called my own bluff and went with attempting...... rosemary herbed olive oil, hot cocoa, and vanilla bean infused sugar. Each one for a special person in my life.....a person who I'm telling: "Hey Friend, I think your cooking skills are questionable at best. Let's try to get this flavor train back on the track."
I found pretty bottles and jars for super cheap and I've been harvesting wreath parts and ribbon for at least 5 years. You want pinecones? I got pinecones! Need tiny presents? I got tiny presents! Want an animatronic talking snowman who sings "Frosty The Snowman"? Well then go get one, man. When have you ever seen that on a wreath?!
Then all you have to do is neatly put the food in and add a festive bow or ribbon.....a little fake nature and....BOOM......Cross 3 off your list.
CRAFT GIFT IDEA #4
FEATHER TREE FAIL
I see them everywhere. And I think they are beautiful. But I did not think it was necessary to pay more than $20 to have one. Especially since I'm so obviously amazingly craft-tastic. FALSE. Just BUY it. What's that? You want to make it? Even though I just warned you?? Okay Pal. But don't say I didn't warn you. Hope your vacuum is a Miele........
- This project is simple. Layer white feathers on a styrofoam cone using glue. Yup. Just paint that cone DOWN in glue.
- Place feathers on cone, being careful to completely cover up the glue.
- Pat feathers in place.
- Pull feathers that are now glued to your hands off and put back on the tree.
- Pick up the feathers that fell off the other side of the tree and put THOSE back on.
- Pull feathers that are now glued to your hands off and put back on the tree.
- Pick up the feathers that fell off the other side of the tree and put THOSE back on.
- Put disgusting little project in a part of the house where there's minimal airflow. Feather shrapnel is worse than ANY animal hair you have ever encountered. I was astounded at the amount of fluff I had to chase around. And I have 2 dogs.
This just further proves my point that birds make terrible gifts. Like in "12 Days of Christmas"?
More like "Why Are You Turning My House Into A Bird Sanctuary?.........We Couldn't Possibly Be Zoned For This......." 5 golden rings hardly seems worth 23 birds. Birds can live forever. Do you really want to die in a house filled with 23 birds?
Wow. That got dark. But I guess we have figured out who we are gifting the Feather Tree to. This gift says: "You'll be thinking of me every time you're chasing white fluff around! Literally years after you've thrown it out. You're welcome, Pal." It's like when you see people hug and do the back pat at the same time......like...."I'm hugging you, but I'm also hitting you."
CRAFT GIFT IDEA #5
COCKTAIL UMBRELLA ORNAMENTS
This one looks great AND is crazy easy. NO GLUE REQUIRED. Hopefully you've recovered from knowing what it's like to be "feathered". All you need is ribbon, styrofoam balls, and drink umbrellas! Why didn't we just do this craft 12 times? Because I'm a go-getter, that's why. As in....go get me my iPad so I can just order some people presents. But remember, we're doing this for Sara.....and Sara's friends. You know.......here's where we should just apologize to them right now. Hopefully she's making you one of next week's gifts. But I guess you'll know where you rank.
- Open 6 or 7 drink umbrellas and snap about an inch off of each wooden stick. One color works best. I tried to do a rainbow but it looked like a popcorn ball wrapped in garbage. Unless that's what you're going for. I'm just trying to salvage a craft gift here.
- Cut a 6 inch piece of ribbon so that you could knot the two ends and still be left with a loop that could fit on a tree branch.
- Place ribbon "feet" on the styrofoam ball and use those little broken wooden pieces to fasten them into place. I kind of shoved them in at an angle so they'd catch more ribbon and hold it tighter.
- Fill in the space around the ribbon by piercing the ball with all of the drink umbrellas. Be sure to not pierce surrounding umbrellas. Layer them so they overlap a bit.
- Put them in a fancy box and say you got them at Pier One.
This gift says: "Mele Kalikimaka, Buddy! When my Christmas bonus check comes in, you can totally come swim in my pool!"
Here's hoping Sunday's crafting session goes a little better than yesterday's. Here's hoping you're already done with your list. And here's where I can remind you that the best gifts are the thoughtful ones.......and what is more thoughtful than boozy ice cream?
:) Brooke