This time of year is a special one for me. On Tuesday, Player 2 and I will have been married for 2 "fan-freaking-tastic years". I won't go into a whole thing about how you should make sure that you marry your best friend, I'll just gently remind you that if someone is generally no fun....DON'T FREAKING MARRY THEM. Unless you're no fun too, in which case........you must hate this blog. My bad, Buddy.
But us? Oh, we are fun. At least we think we are. I mean, two people who chose to have a Super Mario-Themed wedding complete with "Level 1 - 1" photo booth can't really be too uptight, right? I mean......I didn't say we were cool.....I said we were fun. You laugh now, but there wasn't a dry eye in the house during our first dance......despite it being The Mario Kart Love Song. Actually, I'm welling up right now thinking of the lyrics. He'd take a blue shell for me man! A blue shell!
So since I'm in the wedding mood, you get to learn how to make your very own personalized champagne flutes! Feel free to apply this technique to any glassware. You may have also matured past the age of ten and not want video game themed stemware. Too bad. It's MY house and we're playing Mario. And you're Luigi. Don't like it? Then call your Mom to pick you up.
THE AC MOORE/CHRISTMAS TREE SHOP PLAZA IS LIKE A SECOND HOME NOW.
GO TO YOUR HOME. WHAT ARE YOU TOO GOOD FOR YOUR HOME?! :
- glassware- any style will do. Heck, do a clear vase and then plant a venus fly trap in it. It will be like piranha plant-ception!
- paint for glass- The paint aisle in any craft store is dizzying, and that's not just the fumes. Seriously, bring a collapsible chair if you really want to take the time to compare all of the labels. Unless you wanted to read the spray paint labels. Those are safely kept under lock and key. And you have to show your id when you buy it now. An annoyance only surpassed at the pharmacy by having an allergy pill "allowance". Meth heads and paint-huffers have really ruined things for this society. Way to go, guys.
- paint brushes- Assorted shapes and sizes! You should have these by now. If not, TREAT YO' SELF.
- time- This project's going to take time. A whole lot of precious time, to do it....to do it....to do it....to do it....to do it, RIGHT!!!!
- an oven- This is on the off chance that you didn't read any directions on the label until right before your event.
- champagne- To toast a job well done! Unless you're making a vase. Then you should switch to red wine. The wider mouth allows it to breath better.
- Alright guys. If a million years in the service industry has taught me anything it's that........
Some people are just really rude to bartenders. Maybe it's the alcohol, or that the term "bar wench" still exists, but some people don't know how to act in public. Being rude to the bartender is not only detrimental to your evening's consumption, it can be dangerous. A quick wink to the "bouncer", and you're going to learn where that term came from, you dig?
Oh.....I also learned that a clean glass is a happy glass. So make sure your glass is clean and dry before we start. Shut up. That was a perfectly acceptable #1. There's not much to this craft but painting, so we get extra life lessons, ok?
- Place your glassware, mouth down on a paper towel. You know we don't craft that cleanly......or well. And don't wear that hoodie, either! It's a nice one. Get a smock.
- Start painting. I did the red first and let it dry to the touch. It took two coats to get the desired "redness" of the piranha plant. Then I layered on the white dots and edging of the plant's mouth, and that was at least two coats, maybe three. Finally I painted the stems green, because that's what color stems are. You know.
- Put in a dust free environment for 21 DAYS to allow it to "air cure". Yeah, you read that right. I didn't. But I told you! There were so many labels!!! Luckily we were still 40 days out from the wedding so I just popped them in the hutch and checked on them everyday....compulsively.
- WARP ZONE STEP- You can place the glassware in a 325º oven for 30 minutes. I personally hate the smell of anything plastic or painty burning. I was scarred for life when my mom attempted to re-pop unpopped popcorn kernels using a plastic bowl and plastic wrap. (Now that's a sentence to read out loud!) I can actually still smell it as I write. I'm pretty sure that warning on the label that now resides on microwave popcorn is because of her. For fear of recreating that noxious odor in my home, I took the long way and let it dry. Kind of like playing levels 2 and 3 every once in a while.
- Pop that bottle! Pour a little out for all the Marios that you've sacrificed along the way. There's an internet rumor that all those ghosts (Boos---if you know ANYTHING.) in the game are all the lives of your Marios past. Creepy, right? That's nothing! If you look up "The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask" and "Ben" you'll be treated to the creepiest gamer ghost story of all time. A story so creepy that it freaked me out while reading it during the day. But I'm also still afraid of Chucky, so take that as you will.
There you have it. One of the may DIY projects from my wedding that dazzled the masses. Or at least surprised them with how classy a Mario wedding could be. Now if you'll excuse me I feel as though I need to go dance to "Gangam Style".