I have a confession to make. I've had my Christmas tree up for a week. Wait!!! Don't throw that cornucopia at me!!! Dude.....it's not my fault. I ordered a beautiful new white pre-lit one from Kohl's and it was shipped here 3 weeks early. Oh I'm not complaining. But I did have to take it out of its cardboard prison to make sure the lights worked. Which they did. I plugged in the tree and it came to life people! It spoke to me and begged not to be all squished back up. And it's BEAUTIFUL. Even with nothing on it. Lucky for me Player 2 is used to this kind of shenanigans......see also......LOVES being perpetually 12 with me.
"But BROOKE".....you whine....."It's not even Thanksgiving yet!" EYE ROLL SUPREME......The amount of people who get their undies in a major bunch about the chronology of the holidays always surprises me. Look out people because I also LOVE snow.......another happiness people seem to despise. That 3 foot storm we had?! I was in my FREAKING GLORY. Not so much when I had to open a window and jump out in order to shovel open the door for the dogs........but definitely while watching the dogs try to navigate through the Arctic tundra. Guys.....I married a teacher. We are so pro-Snow Day in this house it would make you sick. I have even a snow dance that involves standing on the furniture.
So buckle up, Buttercup! Glitter is the snow of the craft world. And this tree skirt tutorial is an easy way to kick up the holiday pizzaz! As opposed to the actual Pizzazz.....who was really just a very misunderstood thorn in Jem's side.
WALMART HAS A SURPRISINGLY GOOD CRAFT SECTION..........ALSO DON'T FORGET TO PICK UP LAUNDRY DETERGENT:
- 2 yards of MEGA SHINY material- I went with a pretty standard disco ball-esque fabric. Why so shiny? Because I'm also happy, and hold hands with other like minded individuals. It also is great for reflecting light back up under the tree adding a really nice depth to your decor.
It's all about that light......'bout that light....no shadows.
- velcro, buttons, or NOTHING- You read that right. You can either make this a wrap skirt (how very Diane vonFurstenberg of you!), or a pull up one (easy like Pampers) depending on your taste/tree. Mine is artificial so a pull-on one was the obvious choice. Hey man, don't judge. I've been filling ice cream orders like WHOA! Plus, I'm going to tell you how to do it the other way. I'd never leave you hanging, Buddy.
- a pair of scissors- A rare find in this home so I actually went out and bought a pair. Player 2 is left-handed and therefore all of his scissors are wrong. And annoyingly he's trained himself to be ambidextrous over the years, so he can go around using whatever his little heart desires. I use his and they turn into paper benders.
- a tree- I mean I guess you don't technically need one. Maybe you could also use this for an extra jazzy coat rack.....or a dog poncho?
- Decide how big you want your tree skirt.
We are so not using math for this project. At least not on purpose. Around these parts I'm know as the ESTIMATOR......or LEVLOR if we are hanging pictures. I actually am the sickest estimator you will ever meet. Years of laziness and a complete lack of comprehension of all things Geometry has honed a skill so strong it INFURIATES photographers, contractors, and scientists alike.
If it makes you feel better I am a terrible baker. Seems that's LEVLOR'S "kryptonite".
- Fold your fabric in half, making sure the beautiful side is on the interior of the fold. Because we all know it's what inside that matters. Draw an even arc starting at one side of the fold and ending on the other. By all means make a template, or use an existing tree skirt as a guide. That's what I did, but because I wanted mine a bit bigger I just traced a little further from the edge.
- Trace or draw the center hole using the same arcing technique. The technique of sharpie and fabric......underestimated greatness at work.
- Ever so slowly, cut the arcs with your spanking new scissors. Hide the scissors. That's how we keep nice things. Oh the great stuff I have stashed around this house.........just kidding my proofreading Player 2.
- If you want......you can totally be done now. But let's say you're little Holly Homemaker....and you just need this to be more "functional". Well then you can cut a straight line right towards your center circle.
- Again. You could stop here. Who's going to know except the tree waterer?! And let's face it.....that's probably you too. BUT if you really want to "finish" a project......use velcro! It's self adhesive and comes on a spool! I mean....what CAN'T we Velcro around the house?! You know.....if Duct Tape could only get his act together, he could be more like Velcro.
- You want to use buttons?! Why?! Okay fine. Sew on some large pretty buttons on one side of the cut tree skirt. Cut slits to accommodate the new fasteners. I mean....you've seen how a shirt works right?
- Place under the tree and patiently wait for your new Play Station and all of the games you've been dreaming of! All of which have been thoughtfully placed in my virtual Amazon shopping cart for your convenience........true story, Player 2.
I figured we'd start at the ground floor and work our way up the tree. I also figured that the disco shine of this tree skirt will blind Santa causing him to drop an extra present or two under the tree. Well, that and I'm leaving a pint of the Drunken French Toast ice cream to sweeten the deal. That dude's got to be so over cookies by now.