That's a little song I like to sing around the house. Just more nonsensical gibberish that flies out of my mouth on various occasions. I'm quite prone to breaking out into song or dance, or let's get real here.....combo of the two......at any given moment and for some reason that mortifies whoever I'm with. But the world knows I'm weird and most people seem to enjoy it, so I just keep right on doing the "running man" through Walmart. Or at least, my best interpretation of it.
So when I see a glazed donut flavored liquor in the store I have to grab it. We are kindred spirits. OH MAN! I swear these are NEVER on purpose. I'm just an All-Star unintentional pun MASTER. Sorry. Anyway. Where was I......Oh yes.......I turned this gloriously odd booze into.........drum roll...........ICE CREAM!
What did you think it was going to be, man? That's the schtick we do here. Pay attention.
Oh NO She Didn't.....Glazed Donut Ice Cream
THROW AWAY ALL SELF RESPECT AND GO GET:
- 4 glazed donuts- Cut two into tiny 1/2 inch pieces. So what if there's an extra two. Maybe we'll make it a donut ice cream sandwich WITH donut ice cream. We're probably eating this one in private as it is.
- bigger pants- Preferably drawstring and drapey.
- Mama Walker's Glazed Donut Liquor- Yeah. Good luck. I found mine through this tiny doorway in the back of a liquor store that I was pretty sure leading directly into John Malkovich's head. Imagine my surprise when instead I found 2 bottles of this and one of the same brand in Maple Bacon Flavored Liquor. Don't worry. I'm SURE that recipe is already bouncing around my brain.
- 2 1/2 cups heavy cream
- 1/2 cup whole milk
- 1/2 cup sugar
- a medium to large sized bowl with 4 egg yolks, scrambled
Man, I see in Custard Club the strongest and smartest folk who've ever whisked. I see all this potential........because I'm pretty optimistic and I know you can make this no problem! (I really hope the six people who get my constant Fight Club references enjoy these intros as much as I do.)
The first rule of Custard Club is you do not talk about Custard Club....but the second, third, and fourth are:
- GET IT TOGETHER......no seriously. Making a custard is a bit involved and if you have everything near you, life will be way less complicated. Before you start, Get a big bowl. Put ice in it. Get another bowl and put it in the ice bowl. Like it's taking a little icy bath. Awww. Cute.
- ALSO....Get a fine mesh strainer and put it over the empty bowl. This will catch any mistakes that may happen when you introduce the eggs into the hot cream. It'll also catch any vanilla bean shrapnel we might not want in our smooth and creamy ice cream. (It's also a FANTASTIC mask in an impromptu kitchen fencing match. Tested and approved.)
- A WHISK and A LADLE....will also be used. You should probably grab a SPATULA for good measure. You know what? Grab two! Let's get real Food Network with it, shall we?
As always you can do the custard the day before but make sure you do it at least 6 hours before it goes into the machine.
- Have a dairy party. Throw in the cream and the milk in the pot. Oh hey! Throw in the sugar and get that baby dancing. And by dancing I mean hot but not boiling. This step is the "Get The Creamy Nice And Steamy" step that we've all come to know and love.
- Ladle some of the party into your bowl of eggs, the whole time whisking and wiggling. Soon to be followed by jiggling, but let's think about that in 2 days when your pants are tighter. C'mon man. We don't work out to not eat. I work out because I want to eat more. Priorities.
- Toss those warmed up eggies back into the party pot and whisk that group together. It should thicken up in a few minutes, but you'll know for sure when you can dip a wooden spoon into the custard and draw a line that stays in it. Now just pour it through the strainer to filter out those "unwanted guests". Let the custard cool completely before covering its surface with a piece of plastic wrap and popping it in the fridge.
- Heat up your 1 cup of your liquor until reduced by a third. Laugh when your family comes running because they think you've actually made donuts! You don't bake! Suckers. Just make sure your glazed donuts are hidden and out of harms way. Otherwise they'll have the last laugh....won't they? Let that booze cool and chill it in the fridge until you could comfortable do it as a shot.
- The custard's got to chill for the length of the movie Gettysburg. The longest, worst field trip I've ever made the mistake of going on. If a MOVIE requires intermission, it's....too....long. Instead just watch more Office because that one where Gabe pretends to be a Lincoln reenactor is comedy gold!!! Unlike 12 hours of continuous musket firing.
- Fire up that little ice cream machine, pour in your dairy and your chilled donut liquor in. Or mix them first and put them in. Im not a stickler.....Set the timer to 10 minutes. Do burpees....or up downs.....or whatever you want to call them. But do something to burn off some of the 11,000 glazed-based calories we are about to consume. 10 minutes of those and it's a wash!
- Pour into a freezer safe container, and fold in your donut pieces gently. Top with plastic wrap and cover. Let set up for however long your freezer takes. I've got a sick one that does it pretty fast, but I've also got more sinks than anyone you know. A normal freezer is probably at least 6 hours.
- If you're twisted like me, then slice one of those donuts in half and pop a scoop in the middle. But that's going to be like another 10 minutes of burpees.
If this flavor doesn't make you randomly burst into song and dance than I'm really not sure what will. Probably just bacon. That usually works for Player 2.
Makes enough for 3-4 people, technically.
Makes enough for 2 people, realistically.
Makes enough for me, more than likely.